Human Connection 101 at Barnes and Noble

The book opens on page X

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve made it a habit to visit my neighborhood Barnes and Noble to work on my job search. So far, so good! I’m following leads and setting up meetings. As focused as I’ve been though, there’ve been days when my mind wasn’t fully functioning. I completely zone out without being in deep thought. It’s a feeling that oscillates between numbness and restlessness. I sit silently with a blank stare on my face, too lethargic to do anything. Suddenly a dose of Four Loko is injected in my veins and I can’t restrain myself from wandering the house aimlessly. But honestly, it’s not a bad thing at all, just as long as I’m aware of it. It lets me know that there’s a disconnect between my active thoughts and my subconscious. I just have to bridge the gap, re-focus my energy, and move forward. You feel me?

The conversation begins on page X

Long-story-short, I took my usual trip to Barnes and Noble; only this time, I had NO AGENDA. In times like these, I usually end up going back and forth between Facebook and Gmail, as if my life depended on it. But instead, I end up having a conversation with a stranger the entire time I was there. How does this happen?!? Granted, she was a beautiful woman – nice frame, natural curls, attractive smile. But by beautiful, I also mean 30 years old, recently married, and 4 months pregnant. There was no secret agenda on my end, so don’t get it twisted!

It wasn’t so much about WHAT we talked about, but more so HOW we talked about them. We took the time to listen to each other and connected the parallels of our lives with our personal stories – about our family, our goals, our identity within a multicultural setting, and so forth. We were genuine with our words and enthusiastic with our laughter – counting our blessings and even making light of the most depressing circumstances that happened in our lives. Despite being complete strangers, we revealed our insecurities and made ourselves vulnerable to judgment. But it felt so comfortable. Simply put – we were living in AUTHENTICITY and not in FEAR.  

As we spoke, we also reflected. When talking to friends, I take for granted details that I expect them to already understand. In doing so, I constrain my stories to bullet points and lose sight of the little things that make up my being. But when talking to this stranger, important details naturally flowed out and I literally listened to myself. Best of all, my authenticity was reciprocated. The conversation created a human connection so powerful that the gap between my active thoughts and my subconscious began to close. It hasn’t completely meshed, but I’ll always look back at this moment if my mind goes astray. 

The conversation ends on page X

She was a 2^nd year law student at Georgetown University, studying at Barnes and Noble to escape the law school bubble. At approximately 2:30 PM, our conversation started. She was on page X of her textbook while my laptop remained closed. At approximately 5:30 PM, our conversation ended. She was still on page X of her textbook and my laptop was still closed.

The BOOK is now CLOSED… on to the back cover

Human connection continues to be under-appreciated amidst our technological media. I’m not against communicating behind screen names, social media, and text messages. I do it all the time – it’s efficient and people are more likely to hit you back. But when something like a Q&A Facebook trend becomes the only reason why you get in touch with another person… go slap yourself. Be authentic to yourself and the people around you. Let authenticity resonate through your words and actions. Stop living out your fears and insecurities and have a REAL CONVERSATION.